From Blowouts to Bonding: The Case for Keeping Your Parent’s Hair Appointments
Top 5 Reasons Weekly Salon Trips Will Save Your Parent’s Sanity (and Yours)
It’s an Act of Love – A small gesture that speaks volumes.
It’s Low-Effort, High-Impact – Easy to maintain, and they notice when you do.
It Boosts Self-Esteem – Theirs and yours (you helped, you showed up, you both ROCK!).
It’s Built-In Social Time – A stylist’s chair can be a lifeline for connection.
It’s Good for Health and Hygiene – Clean hair, clean scalp, clear mind.
I have never known a woman to spend more time in front of a mirror than my mother. And I’ve known a lot of women. I’m even married to one.
Growing up, Mom would vanish into the bathroom and reappear an hour later, fully “verputzed” (that’s Yiddish for putting on your face). Makeup, nails, bleach for her upper lip, a face steamer, deep conditioner under tinfoil, blow dryer, round brushes—you’d think she was prepping for a photo shoot with Vogue.
That gene skipped me entirely. Sure, in my light punk rock/new wave days I wore lipstick and the occasional smear of mascara (yes, I even had a tail), but otherwise? Meh. My hair’s been going grey since my late twenties and I let it. Big whoop.
Then COVID hit. And Mom just… stopped. She entered what I called her Miss Havisham phase—frightening, frozen-in-time, and decidedly unglamorous. It was scary. So, I decided we needed to do something drastic, or rather, familiar to bring back her sparkle. That’s when I began taking her to the salon every single week.
When Sandy and I brought Mom to California, she immediately found the chicest salon in town and befriended every single stylist. She’d hand us each one of her new favorite nail files (orange for me, purple for Sandy). I still have mine. Once, at dinner, a table of twenty-somethings shouted, “Hey Phyllis!” They were her salon crew. Apparently, my mother had more cool, young, female friends than I did.
There’s something about the ritual of weekly grooming—it’s social, it’s grounding, it’s a tether to a self you don’t want to lose. Every assisted living community I’ve visited has a beauty parlor. But was the one in Mom’s building good enough for her? Please. Of course not. Why take the elevator when you can get your daughter to chauffeur you across town?
So, we started our AVEDA phase. Here’s what it looked like:
1:30 PM — I leave home, drive 15 minutes to Mom’s. Pull into the white zone.
Lobby hello, Mom gets in, rollator goes in the trunk. Drive less than three miles to Noe Valley.
Yellow zone park, unload rollator, hand Mom over to her (very cool) stylist.
Then—my favorite part—Mom’s social hour, not mine. I’d walk up a massive San Francisco hill, take in the city, and come back to reverse the whole process in an hour.
The hair, the color, the chatter—Mom left each appointment lighter, brighter, and more herself. And honestly? So did I.
dōteworthy:
Salon Savings for Seniors
AARP explains where your aging parent can actually get a discount on their haircut, ensuring that looking and feeling good doesn’t break the bank. aarp.org+15aarp.org+15reddit.com+15
Choosing the Right Salon for Seniors
Insight on what to look for in a senior-friendly salon—from styling experience with mature hair to accessibility features and mobility support. consumersearch.com+2thehighpointresidence.com+2
How Grooming Boosts Mental Health
A science-backed explainer on how caring for your appearance can lift self-esteem, reduce stress, and give an actual mood boost—not just a blowout. https://opulentgrooming.com/blogs/news/the-psychology-of-grooming-how-looking-good-affects-mental-health?srsltid=AfmBOopMybuSYdxhBRiZqQc_IlcSaTZvNYagCt-kr7nsp3lfehB1hpk2
dōtenote:
Do you have a grooming ritual for your elder that keeps them feeling like themselves? Share it. We all need the hacks, the humor, and the hairbrushes.