Uncle Ken and Powers of Attorneys The Five Documents That Saved My Uncle — and Could Save Your Loved One, Too by Batya Forsyth

No one prepares you for that phone call — the one that drops you straight into crisis mode while you’re still carrying the grief of the last funeral. Mine came three months after we buried my 104-year-old grandmother. A nurse from a regional medical center in Southern California found my number on a tiny Post-it in my uncle Ken’s wallet. No name. Just my number.

And just like that, I became the person she called.

Uncle Ken — lifelong bachelor, retired electrical engineer, the kind of man who soldered his own motherboard and once spotted a photo of his Air & Space Museum radar project in a movie — had been caring for my grandmother for 20 years. Now he was being rushed into surgery for a massive glioblastoma. He couldn’t speak clearly. He was alone. And the hospital had no idea who to contact.

I was on a plane within hours.

And somewhere between tossing clothes into a bag and calling a neighbor to rescue Uncle Ken's old Mercury Sable that looked like a tired turtle from the hospital parking lot, it hit me:
I had nothing legally in place that allowed me to help him.

No authority to talk to doctors.
No access to his accounts.
No right to sign anything.
Nothing.

A colleague emailed me a Power of Attorney form. I printed it. I booked a mobile notary to meet me at the hospital.

When I walked into Uncle Ken’s room, I barely recognized him without the hairpiece my grandmother lovingly bullied him into wearing for decades. “Oh Bat!” he said — my childhood nickname — and we hugged. I helped him call a few people he loved, because as he managed to say, “I might not be able to tell people I love them after this.”

The notary arrived. We signed. And moments later he was wheeled away for surgery, leaving me and the notary standing in an empty hospital room, holding paperwork, stunned. I cried.
She put down her bag, took my hands, and asked, “Can I say a prayer for you?”

A Catholic notary and a Jewish niece, praying for a beloved engineer with a Post-it full of secrets. Life is weird. And also kind.

That little yellow Post-it — and the rushed Power of Attorney — allowed me to legally protect him, advocate for him, and ultimately guide him through the last five months of his life with dignity, privacy, and ease.

And that’s why these five documents matter more than you think:

Top 5 Basics To Help You Help a Loved One in an Emergency

1. Power of Attorney

Gives you the ability to step in legally when life throws curveballs. It’s not dramatic — it’s practical.

2. Healthcare Directive

Lets your loved one (not a stranger) decide their care preferences in advance.

3. Signature Authority on Accounts

Because bills don’t stop — even when brain tumors appear out of nowhere.

4. Smartphone Access Code

It sounds ridiculous until you’re trying to call their doctor from a locked iPhone at 2 p.m. (or their favorite diner at 2 a.m.).

5. Emergency Contact Information

On paper. In wallets. In phones. Don’t rely on a Post-it note alone.

If you haven’t gathered these yet, consider this your gentle, slightly bossy Gen X nudge.
Future You will thank Present You.
Your loved ones will feel protected.
And the next time the phone rings — you’ll be ready.

dōteworthy:

Rachel Donnelly is an expert on “After Loss”.  Listen to her on the Not Born Yesterday podcast episode from July 4, 2025 “Estate Planning: Accessible and Empowering She asks us “who is in charge and do they have the tools that they need”? And (spoiler alert!) the toolkit does not include a post it note in your wallet.

There is a great article on the subject from Next Avenue called why you need a digital estate plan and how to make one. Maybe discuss this with your aging loved ones over the holidays?

In the above article, check out everplans—a digital vault for everything from passwords to wills. It’s like the grown-up version of a post it note, on an app.

Here’s another article on the subject from the peeps over at Gray Monster

dōtenote:

If you’ve not had the conversation with your aging loved one about the accessibility of their estate plan, then how about you focus on your Gen X toolkit? Is it on track?